Friday, March 30, 2007 ;
12:20 AM
You might not have known this,but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female.
Here are some examples:
FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. !
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt. SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around. !
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Tat, you must read this one)'Surinder's uncle was booked into an SIA flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an airplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place.
When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, "I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me for food and drinks!" So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal.
The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher, who was curious about the food. "Excuse me, what is that drink?" he asked. The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, "Milk of India!" The the uncle took out several pieces of chapattis and started feasting. "And what is that dish?" asked the curious American. "Wheat of India!" replied the uncle proudly.
Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the American. "What is it?" asked the American. "Sweet of India!" replied the old man. After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud "Pooooooooot!" from the uncle. "What was that?" asked the American in disgust.
The old man replied coolly, "That's Air India!"
(Tat's favourtie by the way)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic.
Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls us her dress a bit to show her legs.
Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll show you my thighs," and men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full. Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats.
Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis." All three fork over the money. The girl then turned to the window and points outside at a building they're passing.
"See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------What a Woman Says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon,
You and I need to clean up.
Your stuff is lying on the floor,
and if we don't do laundry right now
you'll have no clothes to wear."
What a Man Hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hope you enjoy these little funny things!
Labels: Brain Teasers
every day is a new day ♥
Thursday, March 29, 2007 ;
5:23 PM
Brain Teasers!
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?
4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
6. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.
Answers (highlight for answers)
1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. 2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry. 3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug. 4. The answer is Charcoal. 5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow! 6. The letter "e", which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph...Labels: Brain Teasers
every day is a new day ♥
Tuesday, March 27, 2007 ;
11:27 AM
Type of Condoms:
1. Capmbell's Soup Condoms: Mmm, mmmm, good...
2. Coca Cola Condoms: the real thing.
3. Diet pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
4. Double Mint: Double your pleasure, Double your fun!
5. Energizer: It keeps going and going and going...
6. Ford condoms: the best never Rest.
7. Hewlett Packard Condoms; Expanding possibilities.
8. KFC Condoms: Finger-lickin good.
9. M&M Condom: It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!
10. Mars Bar condoms: The quicker picker upper!
11. Maxwell House: good to the last drop!
12. Microsoft: Where do you want to go today?
13. Nike Condoms: just do it.
14. Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
15. Taco Bell: Get some; make a run for the border.
16. Tattslotto Condoms: Who's next?
17. Star Trek condoms: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
18. Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
19. United Airlines travel pack: Fly United.
20. Yellow pages Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? don't you wish everybody did?
Funny eh? hahaha!
Labels: Brain Teasers
every day is a new day ♥
